Monday.

Just an update- 

I am moving to a hostel in Tunis.  It was sad to leave my host family but I kind of need to be close to this library in Tunis and be able to be on my own schedule in order to do a lot of work on my ISP.  So, I'm excited.  I am moving with 3 of my friends in this program.  I am rooming with my friend and then the other two are living in a room across from us.  Woo, new setting, new routines etc.  

AND- only 3 weeks left, AHHH!!  Nuts.  

Love you all, 

Sarah 

A rather long update/reflection/insight...

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've posted just a random update so here it is... 

 -I am trying to soak AS MUCH IN AS POSSIBLE because time is flying.  …and I mean EVERYthing. 

 -I have finished classes and I am now a week into the 4 weeks I have to conduct a research project.  I am doing mine on advertisements in Tunisia.  My topic title is "Tunisian's Perception of Billboards in Tunisian Identity".  We'll see how it pans out...  Basically, this idea has come from a few different angles.  First of all, globalization is a phenomenon that we cannot deny.  The economy is becoming more and more global and with this comes a global advertising market.  Therefore, advertisements are becoming global which means that they are becoming multicultural... or basically absent of any real culture at all.  This is intriguing to me.  Here in Tunisia, the ads very rarely are of people that you would imagine as Tunisian (but what is really "Tunisian" anyway?).  Instead, the ads portray more European looking individuals.  So, what do the Tunisians think about this?  How are these portrayals affecting the Tunisians?  More importantly, how is this affecting their identity?  The identity of Tunisians is coming from so many different angles already (African, Arab, Mediterranean etc..) that I would like to hear what they think about these ads.  Do Tunisians really imagine these ads as portraying Tunisian life?  It's hard because people really interpret symbols, such as those in advertisements, to determine their place in society.  (kind of extreme, but also rather true I think…symbolic interaction)  Sooo, basically I'm curious to find out.  (that's a rough sketch of what I'm trying to do with my ISP.. we'll see how it goes)

 -My host sister is growing growing growing!  I feel like every day I come home she is doing something new or grown a little or just SOMETHING!  I'm not ready for her to keep growing... she should stay a less than month old baby the whole time I'm here.   

-I wish that I could communicate how much I feel like I am learning while I am here.  We were talking a lot about this today and the reality of the situation is that it is not something that can really be communicated if I think about it but instead it will just happen.  It will be shown through things that I do without knowing it.  It’s hard to explain, but I suppose we’ll all find out when I return.  Either way, I am learning a lot (probably more than I even realize) and even though I am kind of scared about returning to the U.S. (due to my anticipation of culture shock) I am also looking forward to trying to share my experience.  And obviously, there is no place like home. 

 -I can’t believe that I have less than a month left here now.  That is unbelievable. 

 -I GOT A PACKAGE FROM DELTA NU LAST WEEK (thank you thank you thank you) and it is AMAZING!!  I am actually thoroughly enjoying some of the ingredients right now J

 -I visited some “discotechques” for the first time last weekend and let me tell you, nightlife in Tunisia can be just as wild as that in the U.S.  Holy cow. 

 -I went into this semester planning on challenging the way I think, challenging my perspectives, my pace of life, my beliefs, the way I view everyday interactions and happenings.  Well, I can confidently say that my perspective has changed.  However, I can also say that certain things I was confident about have also come into question.  I definitely look at the world differently.  I see the world differently in a broader sense and in an everyday sense.  It’s hard to explain. 

But in the broader sense, this little country in northern Africa called “Tunisia” that I never knew existed has made a difference in my life.  A place that I didn’t even notice on the map before will now be somewhere I notice.  This location has opened up doors to other countries that I never thought twice about before, and other cultures that I have never taken the time to understand.  Yes, I still have a lot to learn, but now the intrigue is there.  That’s a big difference. 

In a smaller sense, after being in a different academic environment and around non-Dickinson students, terms that I have always taken for granted are being questioned.  Sure, I had a great idea of what the word “culture” meant when I came to Tunisia… but now, what does that word actually mean anyway?  What is “traditional”?  What is “authentic”?  Who decides?  I thought I understood, I thought I had an idea of what a true culture was, where it could be found, before I came.  But honestly, now I have absolutely no idea.  However, the funny thing is that even though I have no idea right now, I feel as though I have a better understanding than I did before.      

 -…Now that I think of it, it’s kind of funny…as you gain a better understanding of the world (probably of anything) you begin to realize just how big it is… how many layers there are…how complicated it really is.  (This has been a theme lately)  With this realization is a sense of being overwhelmed and perhaps discouraged because what can you really do anyway since this idea, this anything, is so big?  I mean, I guess I really don’t know the answer to that yet but I suppose you can just bite off a piece and chew on it for awhile as some would say.  I mean, you’ve got to start somewhere, right?  It’s like the bigger you realize the world is (anything is) the smaller you realize your effect, and your ability to understand, is going to be.  But honestly, that’s okay because I feel like just the fact that you’re realizing it is a big deal. 

I’ve definitely become even more thankful for my education… because I believe that to be able to think about ideas and cultures and “other” on this level is a privilege.  I thoroughly enjoy this ability and I hope that I will put it to good use. 

 

 So I realize this was a long post definitely kind of a “word vomit” and I think I should stop here.  If you’ve made it through, thanks.  That’s kind of a piece of where I’m coming from throughout this whole experience.  

Journal Entry #2

Another journal entry that I wrote for class that I figured I'd post too... this one is kind of different... 

A few days ago, my friend asked me what the biggest difference of my day-to-day life was in Tunisia. To my surprise I did not reply with an answer regarding toilet paper, food, or any every day routine.  Instead I said, “just being a female”.  Wow.  I stepped back from my answer a little bit…do I really mean that?  Is that really an aspect of this foreign culture that I want to expose?  Well, it is the truth…even if I was not aware of the extent of its role in my everyday life before, this is the answer and the truth to his question.  Yikes. 

 

Over the course of my adventure in Tunisia, I have thought more about being a female than I ever have in my entire life.  I have reflected on the strength of the women I am around.  I have noticed women have many responsibilities and that they accept them graciously.  I have viewed these women not as “victims” or “suppressed”, as many Westerners illustrate in such a patriarchal society, but as strong, admirable and incredible.  My perspective is that of an outsider’s.  My host mom, her mother, and all the other women I am surrounded by, see their everyday activities and responsibilities as normal.  I look at these everyday habits and see their strength behind their lifestyle. 

 

For example, just the fact that my grandmother, after having so many children and grandchildren, can stand up at my cousin’s 21^st birthday party and shake her body in ways I have never seen a body shake before, fills me with admiration.  I hope that I still posses that free spirit at her age.  A few weeks ago Douja Gharbi gave a presentation on businesswomen in Tunisia.  Her presentation represented not only her own success, but the success of women in Tunisia overall and the potential for women to achieve even more.  Chèma has built an NGO which harnesses this hard-will of women and teaches them the skills to provide for their family and potentially rise beyond their community.  Chèma’s insight and the women’s determination are inspiring.  I aspire to make a difference like Chèrma’s and posses the strength of will like that of the women to follow through with my goal.  The pure number of females enrolled in university is inspiring.  I hope that I can harness the opportunities presented to me as graciously and hard-willed as the women of Tunisia. 

 

It is for all of these reasons that I feel a sense of pride being among females in Tunisia.  In the United States, I have never felt this connection to women; I have only looked at achievements in relation to individuals.  After all, America is a meritocracy, right?  All individuals can move forward purely based on their own achievements.  However, in Tunisia the achievements among women cannot be ignored and I feel a sense of pride when acknowledging their achievements and witnessing them on an everyday basis.  Partially due to this pride, I am constantly reconnecting myself to females, and this reminds me of the fact that I too am a female. 

 

However, when I walk down the street every day I am constantly reminded of the fact that I am female for a completely different reason.  Due to these encounters on the street, I must also be reminded of the fact that I am a female every morning when I get dressed.  When I walk down the street it is commonplace to receive a look that does not just look me in the eyes to say “hello”.  Instead, I receive a survey of my entire body.  This look makes me feel like something on display for sale.  Because of these looks, I am constantly reminded that I am not simply another individual, but that I am a female.  Because I am a female, I am examined. 

 

When I go on runs I wear an oversized shirt and sweatpants.  During my runs, I receive calls from males.  In the United States I wear short shorts and a tight shirt.  During my runs when I pass someone we might nod heads or make eye contact.  I do not receive any extra attention in the United States because of the fact that I am a female even though that due to what I wear, my gender is extremely obvious.  What I mean to illustrate by this point is that here in Tunisia I am looked at as a female regardless of what I wear.  When I wear gender-neutral and partially gender-concealing clothing, the female part of my identity is what is noticed first, and then commented on, and therefore made apparent to me.  Yes, I am a female, but I am accustomed to being first regarded as an individual, and then having the fact that I am a female further define that identity.  Here in Tunisia, I am a female first. 

 

My connection with females, and the constant reminder that I am a female, have led me to discussions about the differences of gender, and what it means to be a male or female, in Tunisian and American society.  In another journal entry I could discuss these theories and realizations.  However, in this entry I connect it to a different recognition. 

 

In my last journal entry I created a system of layering within cultural learning.  I suppose this entry is amending that system.  Although that first layer, becoming comfortable with everyday happenings, may be experienced, there will most likely always be exceptions.  Basically, no matter how comfortable one becomes in a foreign culture, some aspects will still be uncomfortable. 

 

A constant topic in anthropology is the creation of the “other”.  In his article, “Islamic Anthropology” and the “Anthropology of Islam”, Tapper discusses the “other” and the definition of the “other”.  One of the drawbacks of an outsider conducting field work on a culture is that he does not understand.  However, an insider “may not have the skills or indeed the inclination to bring to the surface what is taken for granted” (192).  The drawback of the insider is the opposite of the outsider, the insider does understand.  Now there is a dilemma, who can “justly” study another culture?  Who can study Islam without imposing his own beliefs within the work and then explain Islam under its own categories, without the labels of another belief system?  How can anthropology be conducted without the imposition of one’s background? 

 

I do not intend to answer this question in this journal entry.  But this question reminds me of the fact that I am an outsider here in Tunisia.  That I am aware of the fact I am a female in ways I have never experienced before, reminds me of my outsider status.  I am a female here and I am a female in the United States.  However, when I walk down the street in the United States and when I walk down the streets in Tunisia I receive different reactions.  Being a female in the United States means something different than being a female in Tunisia.  Furthermore, no matter how comfortable I feel in Tunisia, people’s reactions on the street are still going to remind me of the fact that I am female in a way which is foreign to me.  This internal realization is what makes me recognize that I am an outsider in Tunisia.  I am outsider and I have a background that has given me certain beliefs.  Now, the responsibility that I have with these realizations is that I need to be cautious of imposing my beliefs, my background and positions, on those of Tunisians.  Mine is not right, mine is not better, it is just different.  And for Tunisians, it is the same.  

Journal Entry...

This is a journal entry that I turned in for class a few weeks ago... I figured it shedded some light on my time here so I may as well post it...

The first week we were here we visited Café des Nattes, sat along the wall, and “drank” shi-sha and mint tea.  The setting to me seemed out of this world, so exotic.  “Are we seriously sitting down in this red and green decorated café, shoes off, just having tea and drinking shi-sha with our academic director?  …Why does this tea have nuts in it…and leaves?”  I could not finish my little shot-glass-sized tea; just that little bit of tea was too strong for me, too foreign.  I remember turning to the student next to me, “This is too strong for me to finish, but I bet by the time we leave I’ll be able to drink it all”.  Two weeks later, I ordered mint tea for two and drank it myself.  My taste buds have embraced the no-longer foreign taste.  

Our first dance class I did not understand why I was there; “I originally wanted to learn how to play the darbuka, why didn’t I stick to that idea?”  This man was standing in front of the class and moving his hips, his entire body, in ways that I had never seen any man or woman move before.  In addition, we were supposed to imitate these movements!  “What am I doing here?”  Admittedly, I thought of the objectification of women the entire class.  I felt like I was trying to be a doll, moving myself in all of these ways, just to appear as a figure to watch.  I thought that dance was a mode of expression, an outlet for women; I read that dance allowed females to freely express themselves in a uniquely sacred way.  “Why am I not feeling that connection?”  “I don’t know exactly what it is, but there is something that I need to overcome in order for me to enjoy that class” I told my friend.  “Maybe I need to connect it with the culture, or maybe I need to read about the history, or maybe I just need to get over myself- but there’s something”.  Just last week, four weeks after the initial class, I genuinely enjoyed my first dance class.  My mind finally let go of all the outside influences and I was able to simply enjoy the dance. 

The mint tea, the dance class, the walk home, the train rides and so many other common occurrences do not seem so foreign to me any longer.  This is expected, we have been here for over a month now – but what does this change in perspective mean for my observations of the everyday culture?  Am I losing a critical eye because I do not see even the smallest differences anymore?  On the train I would examine the space between men and women.  I would study how they interacted, if they interacted, and how.  Now I read an article or look out the window, I rarely people watch.  Am I missing out on important observations of the culture?  

 

I feel I am in this middle ground right now.  The every day aspects of Tunisia are no longer so foreign that I am constantly wide-eyed, but there are still many observations that are worth my while.  It is a positive that I have become comfortable with the culture.  However, I need to balance this comfort with reflection and awareness of the fact that there is always room for additional observation and learning. 

 

Through this reflection I have creatively deduced a system of layering within cultural learning.  There are many stages to learning about a culture, at least in this particular experience of mine.  According to my system, I have only gone through the first two stages so far but I imagine more to come in the later months.  First, everything needs to be soaked in, every experience, taste, smell, and sound.  After some time, these observations become more comfortable.  Everyday life is no longer outrageous; instead clear expectations of each day can be created and met.  Now, within this comfort level of culture, the start of the second level, learning still needs to occur.  Because the initial shock of everything has disappeared, I believe that in this second level deeper learning of the everyday occurrences can take place.  The education can go beneath the surface observation, trends can be deduced and perhaps realizations of the general in the particular can be achieved.

 

The highlight of this stage for me was on Saturday during the first English Club meeting when we started a conversation regarding identity.  Here in Tunisia, there is a phenomenon of merging cultures.  The students identified as Tunisian but I was curious – what does this mean?  Within this identity, where does the bulk of the allegiance lie?  Tunisian means Arab, European or Mediterranean, African among many others.  Overall, the fusion of these can be labeled as Tunisian, but does one have a larger role in the students’ identity than another?  When we tried to uncover the answer to this question the majority of the students said they would identify first as Tunisian but then as Arab-African.  They also agreed that their parents’ and grandparents’ answers would be much different.  Why has this changed?  They said that it has probably changed due to the shift in their relation to Islam.

 

This conversation, this level of learning, has been my most valuable experience in Tunisia so far.  I think that I was finally able to get to this level because the everyday became comfortable first.  I observed Tunisia, I observed Tunisians, and the everyday aspects of society became regular.  The individual observations, the particulars, amounted to broad perceptions, the general.  Next, this general understanding gave me the confidence to inquire about what I had observed.  This inquiry, the stage of analysis, led me to a deeper level of learning- a deeper level of learning about the Tunisian identity. 

 

Maybe this stage of analysis is the third layer within my cultural system of learning.  However, I do not know if the second layer, or even the first, will ever be complete.  In fact, I do not think that any layer could ever be complete because a culture is constantly changing; there are always exceptions, unique individuals, or transformations to observe.  The observations never have to end and I want to make sure that even though I am growing more comfortable with the culture, I never finish observing.  Although I enjoy analyzing, this stage that I have finally reached, I want to maintain my gaze that always searches for perceptions- the particular that may not correspond to the general.